They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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