I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
