I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
