Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Im just a social blackout drinker.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
