Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
