I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
