You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
