angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
