R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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