:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
