none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
