ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
