I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
did i just pee glitter
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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