I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
There's always time for handjobs
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
