FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you win again, gameday.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
