I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
