The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
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