I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
