considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
