I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
