Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Don't EVER smell your tampon
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
