margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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