if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
