No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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