There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he thought i was a dude.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
