It's like God shit irony all over that family
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
