if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'm just crazy horny about you
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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