Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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