apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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