i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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