i wish my penis had a tongue
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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