just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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