So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
