All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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