Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He shit in the fireplace
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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