i just wanna soil my oats bro
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
