I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
