M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
