Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
And then he peed in my hair
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