did you get engaged???
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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