Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
