yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
