To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
