I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
