he shaved USA in his pubs
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
