I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
