Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
