16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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