I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
