I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The air was thick with penises
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
All I want is dick and wine.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
