you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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