he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
